The pulling hand of fear

By 5:37 PM

My new motto has become "fearless Sofia." While I acknowledge that fear is not necessarily a bad thing, it has held me back for too long from so many things. 

Fear has always been my security blanket. My indispensable cape that I pull over myself when I don't wish to confront a certain situation. 

This past week though, I had to pull myself from behind the cape and face one of my fears, no matter how much I wanted to resist. I had my first interview, ever, for a summer internship. Before this interview, I did everything in my power to avoid having to do an interview. I was fearful of how I would do, I was fearful that I would not be able to present myself well, and I was fearful that I would not be able to articulate myself well. Looking back, I now realize that this is all because I failed to believe in myself. 

I guess this has been my problem for a long time. This lack of self-belief has held me back far to many times from my dreams. 

But after that interview, a fire ignited in me. 

I feel as if I walk with more confidence, I speak up more and I'm even doing things I used to never do because I was frozen with fear. 

I know that one thing that helped was just putting my confidence in God and leaning on him. And while I know it can be hard to completely surrender, I felt a great relief. And now, he is continuing to challenge me by giving me more interviews and placing before my path more opportunities to help me conquer my fears. 

I cannot say that I am completely "fear-free." But what I can say is that I have more willingness to just take a leap. The fear no longer rings so loud in my ears and I feel like I can see myself more clearly. 

Once you take that leap, it really is not that bad. It never is as bad as you think, and you are capable of so much more than you think. So when that fear wall starts to come up between you and a dream you know you want to accomplish, come at it "like a wrecking ball."

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